23: Central Park 1: Childproof

Long time, no post! We - okay I - am a lazy bum. We have been on 3 walks since our last post!!! I cannot believe this absurd delay. My instinct is to dish out excuses, but I will spare you the fluff. This walk (which happened mid-May) was our first through Central Park, and we got to experience many of the park's children attractions. Jared, Jill's husband, decided to join us for the first time!!! This may be because I forgot to wear my purple shirt, and therefore Jared was free to dress sans purple without judgment. Whatever the reason, we were stoked that he came.


Jared is SO excited to be at this statue marking the beginning of our walk. We are at East 67th and 5th Ave., and this sculpture is a monument to the 107th New York Infantry in World War I. While that seems mildly uninteresting - there is a cool part: it was designed by Karl Illava, who was a member of that Infantry Regiment. Holla.


This is the lush and lovely entrance to the park at East 67th. It was not hot as hell that day; it is today, just FYI


The happy couple posing on a cute little bridge. Okay - so this picture is corny to the max, I made them participate and yet it is kind of tender.


Another happy couple - of BFFs - chillin' in a gazebo. Side note: You know how many parks are named after obvious historical figures (i.e. Thomas Jefferson) or important, yet completely unknown local people (i.e. a park in my native St. Charles is called Blanchette Park, after our city's founder Louis Blanchette)? This little playground area in Central Park was called "Diana Ross Park." I love New York and the Supremes.


We posed next to these purple flowers to let that beautiful color know that we have not forgotten her completely.


As I was flipping through our pictures, it took me a minute to figure out the significance of this particular one. I am blind as a bat. Central Park is an amazing place to people watch; one can only hope that they will encounter a man using suspenders to hold up his elastic-waist heart, heart, heart pants.


This is the Delacorte Music Clock. I just thought it was a fun clock with animals, but little did I know that on the half hour, a nursery rhyme plays and these whimsical little instrument-wielding creatures move around the clock. We apparently were there around the quarter hour and therefore were completely and totally gyped.


Nothing like an awkward handhold to welcome us to the Central Park Children's Zoo. (they started skipping shortly thereafter)


Isn't this a great little sign? It talks about the fast lane but shows a turtle, which is known for being slow. How unique, funny and clever.


Okay - so these signs in the children's zoo are obviously cheesy to the max. Jared is pointing out his lack of a black tie. Jill is pointing out the appropriate penguin on Jared's polo. Apparently, if Jared did don a black tie - he would wear it much lower than most men.



Don't worry! While Jill is having a baby - it is not a walrus. The future papa is very disappointed.



First - the gift shop is called "Zootique," which, you must admit, is awesome. Second - this family went a bit nutso at the Zootique and felt that they needed to take home two huge grocery sacks full of memories.


"Enough pidgeons"!! BWAHAHA! Those clever sign makers are at it again!


Behind us are the sea lions. I have an overall aversion to animals, but nonetheless, I am totally fascinated by zoos. Bunches of people come to look at creatures stand there or swim or eat. I suppose it makes sense - but whatevs. Interesting fact: the Central Park Zoo is one one-hundreth the size of the Bronx Zoo.


This is a really long tunnel is central park. Jill appears to be line dancing. Jared would never line dance.


My computer screen is so very dark that I cannot see what is happening in this picture. I will revisit when I am at home. (Not that I blog while at work or anything)



There are always a bunch of performers in the park looking to earn a few bucks. Confession: Like this man, I too play the saxophone - well played the saxophone. Notice how this man, even in his pleated khakis, looks sort of jazzy. As you can tell by my corn-ball smile - I am zero percent jazzified - which is why I quit. That and the fact that being on the math team was far cooler than being in the band.


Remember the movie "Return to Oz"? Jill and I are being gnomes in one of Central Park's collections of big rocks.


In the winter, this is Wollman's Skating Rink. In the summer it is this carnival thing. In the winter, I loved walking home through the park and watching the families ice skate. Such a pleasant, happiness-inducing cold weather activity.


Jared grows weary.



This is the south end of the park. Jill and I both love views from in the park where you can see the tops of some tall buildings. It is sort of beautiful.


This little cottage is the Dairy. Apparently, there used to be a real dairy in Central Park. Weird. Now this building is a visitor's center and holds the park's reference library. I find it interesting that the park lacks a dairy but has a reference library. Do all parks have reference libraries and I was just unaware?



Jill and I began taking versions of this tree-peeking picture starting at youth conference 1999ish. I think we have photos of us peeking out from behind at least 7 trees over the 9 years. See - this is not a new thing. We have ALWAYS been nerdfaces.


Jared contemplates his move. He thinks he is so smart, because he just graduated from law school.


CHECKMATE! Just look at the surprise on his face as I dominate in this game of fake chess.


At this fun little gazebo chess/checker board place - these dudes are actually playing chess for real. They are super intense, and I really, really want to challenge one of them to a match - which I will undoubtedly lose. The fun part will be in seeing how quickly I lose.


Carriage rides through the park are a very popular thing. For this reason, Central Park South constantly smells like horse bum. Just so you know.



We have arrived at the carousel, aka the most fun thing ever.



Unlike me, Jared does not wear his emotions on his sleeve. He is actually more excited than I look. If you look closely you can tell.



My mouth is 14 times the size of any of my other facial features.



Jared's first close up! It really was too fun to have his company on the beebop. Jill looks minuscule in this picture. Or Jared looks huger than huge.



Jill and friend.


Jared and friend.


I accidentally deleted the picture of Meg and friend. AND my writing is mysteriously underlined now, and I have no control of it, and it will not stop.


The next few shots are of the most exellent carousel scenery. AND underlining continues.

I used to wonder why people were afraid of clowns. Maybe it is because they strap rockets to themselves, carry around shady black purses, wear Clark Kent glasses and have smiles that remind me of Satan himself.



These lovely swans are positioned right above the Lucifer clown. Such uniform decor.



This clown lacks the creeper smile, but has a hand that is both three times the size of his face and the exact size of his one button.



Jill pulled a fast one here. This blue-haired beauty was juggling just outside the carousel and was charging a dollar to juggle or have your picture taken. Jill caught him in the act without giving him a cent. A resume worthy accomplishment.



Our walk ends with us posing by the baseball fields.


It was, as you can see, the most enthralling part of our walk - so we had to take two pictures.




Now - this is a video of us on our absolutely too-much-fun carousel ride. I have not seen it but feel confident that I will be embarrassed.